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When Did I Become Thirty?
or "Wait, there are people who were born in 1994?!"
4th-Nov-2004 01:03 am

Welcome to hell...The Divided States of Halliburton, a country run by a man with the intellectual prowess of a spoon.

Hey! Did you know that I'm a threat?! It's true! I'm a threat to good wholesome american *coughchristiancough* values! Dig that!

I, personally, would like to apologize. I want to say, "I'm Sorry" to the rest of the world. This was not my doing, I certainly didn't vote republican, but most of us did. Why? I do not know, but it happened...and I apologize.

I don't know why this happened. No one planned on this, every pundit, every expert, every analyst was predicting that the major turnout would favor Kerry. They even used the NFL as a guide!

If God is speaking to us through the mouth of George W. Bush...I am SO glad I stopped going to church years ago. It's rather humorous, I think, how these religious zealots, let's call them...ohhhh...The Christian Right, preach their religion as if it were the only correct one in the world, and tell us how we must follow it strictly, or else we shall be cast into the eternal fires of a damnable hell (a place I'm, apparently, going to anyway, see point number two), and yet they seem to forget the most basic of rules when they don't serve their current purpose. Uhm, "Though Shalt Not Kill"...anyone??

By the way, I think they were airing a special on White House TV last night...I believe it was called, "Oh no! They're Ass-Fucking!"

If you need some entertainment today, go here: http://cnn.netscape.cnn.com/news/election2004.jsp?feature=ne_election5, right click the picture of the president and first lady waving, click properties, and look at the filename. Then realize that Netscape's on our side...

Last night I was baffled. I watched CNN until 4 in the morning scratching my head and wondering why, wondering why 51% of the american population was dumber than me. Wondering just how this had happened. I sat here, in this chair, taking note of the fact that exit polls were saying that people were voting mostly on moral values, and wondering why, if that were the case, that we were still losing. It makes no sense to me that we lost, but we did, and so we'll have to live with that. For the next four years, just as the previous four years, we're being led by a man who thinks the word "nuclear" is spelled with all u's, a man who thinks hot man-on-man action is an ABOMINATION in the eyes of the lord, whether or not the man...or the other man, actually want to be there, a man who, in his brightest moments, giggles and smirks like a four year old who's just gotten his way by screaming, yelling and throwing a tantrum.

Welcome to hell...

Just think about it this way, if we still have a country in which to vote in 2008, he won't be on the ballot!
3rd-Nov-2004 10:06 pm (UTC)
A-fucking-men to that...
4th-Nov-2004 06:05 am (UTC)
definitely agree
4th-Nov-2004 07:04 am (UTC)
Unless he does a Darth Vader and because the Republicans have Congress and the Senate as well now, they could just say 'hey, we have all the power, and fuck you, you're not having it back. Presidents can run for a third term.'

Waaaarrrgggggh! lol
4th-Nov-2004 07:34 am (UTC)
Nah, with any luck, he'll piss someone off enough that... well... needless to say... Mwaha!
4th-Nov-2004 07:48 am (UTC)
I've already said that twice in the past 24 hours in my journal lol. Where's a gunman on a grassy knoll when you need one. :)
4th-Nov-2004 01:01 pm (UTC)
"Pay no attention to the man behind the grassy knoll"... tee hee...

I've already set up a ritual that, if done properly, will cause a comet in the Oort cloud outside of our solar system to redirect it's path slightly and head straight for DC. *whistles innocently*
4th-Nov-2004 04:33 pm (UTC)
Then you rock. Keep on with that innocence! It works for the CIA...

Oh, and just to let you know, be careful because I just got asked to not write entries "where the murder of the leader of my country is encouraged". So, y'know, satire isn't acceptable in this politically sensitive time.

Because the Republicans are known for their sensitivity, knowing as we do their tact and diplomacy for approaching things with the delicate consideration of a sledgehammer.
4th-Nov-2004 08:32 pm (UTC)
someone said that to you?!

no sense o'humor, I tells ya
5th-Nov-2004 03:48 am (UTC)
I know! No appreciation for the beauty of satire lol
4th-Nov-2004 09:32 pm (UTC)
Innocence? Whatever could you mean?? *hides rail cannon and katana* No, nothing's under the carpet sir, 'tis merely a dust bunny...

You mean someone just actually asked you that? Damn.
5th-Nov-2004 03:47 am (UTC)
Yeah, commented it in my journal. Can you believe that shit? lol

Mmmmhmmm. I see those shifty eyes...I'm onto you... :)
5th-Nov-2004 07:43 am (UTC)
That's pretty lame...

And, yes, officer, tis merely a dust bunny... why, yes they do tend to get rather large round these parts...
4th-Nov-2004 08:21 pm (UTC)
see, y'all're safe from the FBI over there...

unless they can swim...

*shifty eyes*
4th-Nov-2004 08:17 pm (UTC)
watch out the FBI'll getcha
4th-Nov-2004 08:11 pm (UTC)
I could kill you with a tray!
4th-Nov-2004 09:33 pm (UTC)
Oh come on, you keel over dead in a gust of wind!

:P :P :P
5th-Nov-2004 03:48 am (UTC)
Hack at your neck with the thin bit! lol

Do you want peas?
5th-Nov-2004 05:58 pm (UTC)
I'll shove them up into the tubes
4th-Nov-2004 07:46 am (UTC)
that Netscape picture thing made me laugh a lot
4th-Nov-2004 08:20 pm (UTC)
tis a good'un, isn't it
4th-Nov-2004 08:12 am (UTC)
why you had to IM me, while i was away, to inform me that you posted this..I'm not sure..
but whatever..
4th-Nov-2004 08:22 pm (UTC)
i apologize, again
5th-Nov-2004 09:08 pm (UTC)
The great thing about the American government is that the people vote on who they want to rule the country. If the American people thought that John Kerry was going to do a better job don't you think more of them would have voted for him? The WHOLE country besides the little liberal bubble of the Northeast and a few states on the west coast voted for Bush. What right do you have to say that all those people are wrong? What is wrong with living in a moral country? What is wrong with stopping abortion and giving those babies a chance at life? Why is it bad to up the education standards?

Maybe re-electing president Bush was not EVERYONES first choice, but it was the choice that a majority of the American people made. I think it is easy to complain about what has gone on. It is easy to give up on Bush and go follow someone else like Kerry, but personally I think he was all talk.
5th-Nov-2004 09:25 pm (UTC)
to paraphrase the cover of the UK's Daily Mirror, How could 50+ Million People be so dumb?

No offense, Trish, my dear, but the president...is an imbecile. I would be a better president than him, simply because I can correctly pronounce most of the words in the english language like, for instance, "nuclear".

The man is leading us down a road for which there is no return. It is completely impossible and implausible to "win" a war on "terror"! We are never going to wake up one morning and have him give a press conference saying, "Yep! We got 'em all! Everyone loves us again!"

To put it another way, if I'm riding in the car with someone, and he drives us into a ditch, than looks at me and says, "Don't worry, I know how to get out of this!" I'm not giving him the chance! I'll give the keys to a seven-year-old first!

Our president is a man who was a failure until he was 40, which is fine, if you're a stand-up comic. How many businesses has he run into the ground? I fear our country is going to be next on that list unless he somehow manages to get his shit together in the next few months.
5th-Nov-2004 09:27 pm (UTC)
and, btw, may i point out just how slim that "majority" was. And this is before counting all the absentee ballots, before counting all the provisional ballots, and not counting all the ballots that weren't cast due to racism and hate-mongering in Florida and Ohio.
5th-Nov-2004 09:59 pm (UTC)
I think you would make a better Prez than bush, because he really is... not smart...

Except... you tend to die rather easily :P
6th-Nov-2004 06:33 pm (UTC)
yeah :)
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