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When Did I Become Thirty?
or "Wait, there are people who were born in 1994?!"
2001: A Salz Odyssey 
20th-Dec-2001 01:27 am
Well, I'm bitin off Sean's journal, and doing my own 2001 recap, and away we gooo:

January 2001: Return to Wheelock, be Spooge Handler for Mannequin Fellatio scene. Yes, folks, I was the one lying on the floor under Ed's bed with the Stridex tube-o'-crap squeezing it upwards on to the lucky recipient. At least, I think it was Stridex, I can't remember now. Other Jackass shit occurs, classes begin, Raws are watched in the College Center, a good time is had by most. The Wheelock Wrestling Fans (Sean, Magic, and Myself), learn that Hooters shows WWF Pay Per Views, a tradition is born.

February 2001: Phil sees his shadow, the world is saddened. DJ and I celebrate our one year anniversary by...talking over IMs in our respective abodes. Valentine's is spent alone in my room while Sean and Lisa went to the movies. Arne had probably disappeared on another one of his jaunts. It was cold. Can ya tell it was a boring month? Sean and I attend a WWF House Show, his mother scores us Floor Seats.

March 2001: Ricky is Born, and killed, in one night. I have solemnly sworn that I will NEVER don the Rickywear again, ever. Tens are annoyed, no one is hurt, except Ed, who laughed so hard his head nearly exploded. I am kicked out of Seans room for refusing to take part in the Dirty Dice game. Can't a guy just watch a bunch of Alcoholicly impaired, all except one, people make asses of themselves? Someone gets shitfaced on St. Patty's Day and passes out in the Riverway Lounge, hilarity ensues. Jello Shots, Pimp Hats, Powder and Boners are all involved.

April 2001: I am not pranked on April Fools Day, yet I am the recipient of a late night Watergun raid by an angered, and drunk off his ass, Brendan Riley. He still owes me 12 dollars for personal property he stole and destroyed. Magic Mike becomes a Doctor, hilarity ensues. Sean and I, and others, attend Raw, I sit across the arena from them due to an incident back in February. April 13th, 2001: Red Sox vs. Yankees, 10th Inning, 3-2 NY, Manny Ramirez up to bat, he grounds one straight through the pitchers legs, drives home two runs, the Sox win, and Fenway Pahk EXPLODES, and I was there to see it all, thank you Sean for scoring tickets. Thank you Nicole for getting sick and letting me go :)

May 2001: Freshman year ends, I return to New Hampshire broke and looking for a Job. CCCC makes me wait...and wait...and wait...in the meantime, I develop an affinity for the Game Show Network.

June 2001: CCCC finally gives me a job. Fun ensues. Later that month a letter arrives, forewarned from Sean, saying that some stupid bitch has confiscated our videotape and turned us in to the fun police. 5 of us get kicked off campus for a year, only two of which were planning on returning anyway. Rights are violated, anger ensues. One year Anniversary of my first WWF Event

July 2001: I turn 19, and get no recognition at work. Last year I got balloons, a card and some Frozen Yogurt. Damnit. I attend the Fireworks ceremony in Portsmouth and almost get severely injured by a tard with a firecracker. I find out that, despite my original plans, I will be attending Wheelock the following school year.

August 2001: I finish work and relax for two weeks while planning on moving down to Rob's to live. Nothing exciting occurs. DJ turns 20.

September 2001: Game Show Network starts airing Press Your Luck four times a day, I am overjoyed. Two weeks later the World Ends, I am shocked, saddened, and rather creeped out (See earlier Journal entries). President Bush proves that he's not as much of an idiot than we all thought. I also find out what LiveJournal is, without which, this would not be possible, obviously.

October 2001: One year anniversary of Sean and I attending a WWF event. I learn that the WWF will return to Boston in November, Sean's mother promises to get tickets. Halloween, I see the shithole of a life I'm leading (see previous entries), and take a downward spiral into a small bout of depression. However, I do begin to realize how good it was that I did decide to live at Rob's and attend school this year. A lot of shit happens in my mind as I battle through this low period. I see Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm at Wheelock Family Theatre and my faith in the school is somewhat renewed. This causes an epiphany, I realize that a Change of Major is necessary, and also a change of Work Study. I also decide to appeal for Housing, I am back on track, my depression is over, and my vigor of life is renewed. My family is happy.

November 2001: Sean's mother scores us EIGHTH ROW SEATS to Raw, she becomes my hero. Sean, Magic and I make signs and force ourselves into the homes of about 3 million (or more) WWF Viewers. Sean visits the next weekend to watch the tape, and I am introduced to the food marvel that is Cheesy Bread. Thanksgiving, my cousin gets real good, at SmackDown: Just Bring It, real fast. I unlock every hidden item in SD:JBI in under two weeks.. It turns out that an appeal is not needed and Marva writes me a letter that gets me housing next semester. I now hope and pray that I get a room. I sign up to take the MTEL Tests in February and May

December 2001: The first semester of my sophomore year ends, I'm riding high on the thought that I'll have housing next semester and that I'll be working in the theater. My faith in Wheelock is restored almost as full as it was when I applied for college two years ago. I give it two months before I hate the place again. 6 Days til Christmas, and my life is top notch. Now, all I have to worry about is Sean getting into Emmanuel so we can play PlayStation 2 and watch Saving Silverman on DVD next semester.

Hey, A Christmas Story is on!! I want a Red Ryder Range Model Air Rifle!!! "You'll shoot your eye out!"
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