Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with much amusement that I present to you the 2007 Douchebag of the Year!
Tonight after the fireworks and the bar and wandering around downtown for half an hour and getting pizza it was about 12:30 and Katie, Jon and myself decided that it was time to head for home. We split off at Market Square, they went back to Jon's car, I headed off back towards City Hall to my car.
I turn on to Junkins Ave, the street where City Hall is, and, as I'm crossing the bridge I cross the street.
Towards the near end of the bridge are two figures, and as I close in on them they greet me with, "Dude, tell me you're sober..."
I realize I shouldn't have said anything, and if they pressed the issue I should have faked drunk, but that didn't occur to me at the time, so I said, "Maybe"
"Tell me you're sober as a judge..." says the tall ugly frat boy.
I don't respond
"Dude..." the guy is definitely drunk, "c'mon, man...my girlfriend's in jail and they won't let me bail her out. C'mon, man, I'll give you the money!" continues the tall ugly frat boy.
A number of responses swirl through my mind, but, given their condition, I stick with the simple, "Nope, sorry." and walk away.
This is when our award winner, the shorter, not quite as ugly frat boy, chimes in, "Oh! Fine! I see how it is!" He's now calling after me as I walk up the hill, "Dude it's lucky you wear glasses, cause I'd kick your ass! Naw, naw, fuck that, dude, I'm gonna kill you!"
I, of course, continue walking.
So you, short drunken frat boy, for threatening to KILL me as I walked toward THE POLICE STATION, are our 2007 Douchebag of the Year!
It was a great night, though, even if I lost my balls... :(
- Music:Madball - Godfather