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When Did I Become Thirty?
or "Wait, there are people who were born in 1994?!"
WrestleMania XXIV: The Recap! 
31st-Mar-2008 06:57 pm
We opened last night with the Belfast Brawl between JBL and Finlay. Other people have panned this match for various reasons, but I thought it did exactly what it was supposed to do. Two guys who were pissed at each other went out to the ring and beat the crap out of each other with whatever they could get their hands on. I give it a 3/5

The second match was the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. This match always delivers, with 6, 8, 7 guys giving their all to win a shot at the title of their choice. Another major spot with the breakaway ladder that took Edge out of the match last year, plus a nice spot with two ladders stuck together, and a laddersault later and CM Punk claimed victory, edging out Chris Jericho at the very end. A 4/5

Up next, "The Battle for Brand Supremacy" between Umaga and Batista. There's no easy way to put this...this match was lame. Umaga, Umaga, Umaga, Umaga, Umaga, Umaga, botched Batista Bomb, pin. 1/5

Fourth, the ECW Title match pitting the champion, Chavo Guerrero against the winner of the 24-man battle royal that took place before the show, Kane. The battle royal should have been on the show itself...but that's another story. The bell rings, Kane chokeslams Chavo, Kane wins the title. I give it 0/5

Fifth, the match I think everyone was looking forward to, the Career-Threatening match between Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels. Given the stipulation every possible near-fall and near-submission was beyond intense. Figure Fours from Ric, the inverted figure four from Shawn, low blows, superkicks, every move in both men's arsenals were pulled out last night. There are really only five words you need to say, "I'm sorry...I love you" 6/5

Good choice by WWE to follow that emotional rollercoaster with the Bunnymania blow-off match. I don't even remember what happened during this match except there were boobs, and the lights went out at one point. Oh, and SANTINOOOOOOO was there. Beth won after a dustup, 1/5

Up next, the WWE Title Triple Threat Match pitting John Cena and Triple H against the Champion, Randy Orton. John Cena came out to the FSU marching band playing his theme song. At least, I think it was his theme song, I couldn't really make out the tune. Anyway, Cena comes out with huge pyro, Hunter comes out with huge pyro, Orton comes out with huge...theme music...bad heel, no fireworks for you! This match, as a whole, was a fantastic heel title defense. Orton gets his ass kicked for most of the match, getting in a couple moves here and there, then gets thrown from the ring as the two faces square off. They go at it for a while, trading finisher attempts, and finally Hunter nails Cena with the pedigree! He goes for the pin, buuuuuuuut he gets Legend Punted in the skull at the two count, and Orton pins Cena to keep his title. I'm not sure anyone saw it coming, 4/5

Match number eight, The Big Show vs. Floyd "Money" Mayweather. No one expected anything from this match, so it easily lived up to expectations, and what they actually did was pretty good. Given that everyone's been booing Mayweather for weeks, they made him the heel in the match, and had him eventually ditch the boxing and start landing kicks, chair shots, and eventually a brass knuckles shot that ended the match. For what it was, it was well done, 3/5

And now the main event, The 15-0 at WrestleMania Undertaker vs. The World Champion 9-1 at Mania, undefeated against Taker, Edge. I think what I liked most about this match was the fact that outside interference was kept to an absolute minimum, and the miniscule amount that did happen didn't lead directly to the finish of the match. Plus the interference led to a cool spot where Taker chokeslammed one of the Edgeheads off of the apron onto the other one, good stuff. The finish saw Edge spear Taker twice, but on the second Taker was able to lock in that stupid submission of his. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big Undertaker fan, but that submission maneuver is ridiculous. There's no way in hell that that maneuver would make someone a) tap out immediately or b) bleed from the mouth. Anyway, good match, I say 4/5

Overall the show gets a solid 3/5. It no doubt would have been higher had the ECW Title match had some substance, or if they'd shown the 24-man battle royal. Big big big big kudos for their handling of Ric's retirement, I don't think anyone would have been able to put together a better match than Ric and Shawn. Even though the viewer was 99% sure what was going to happen, there was still stress and tension at each possible match ending, and the actual finish was absolutely spot-on amazing.

OK, that's all I got.
1st-Apr-2008 08:55 am (UTC)
I thought Umaga/Batista wasn't that bad. It was very entertaining, and I found myself on the edge of my seat all throughout the match. I hope they have a rematch sometime. I think Batista is easily one of the best in-- ahh, fuck it, April Fool's!
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