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When Did I Become Thirty?
or "Wait, there are people who were born in 1994?!"
A New Twist, to an Old Pal 
21st-Jun-2002 12:05 am
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I've decided to adopt the Paravano Style of Journalism, so that my entries seem more meaningful, spanning a broad range of topics, in a number of lines, instead of a line "I Like Peas" POST

So here we go...

The Post-It Du Jour says..."Cop Plate," "Gladiators," "Sac Style," "Bowling," "Who Speaks Ill?," "Sac-Town," "Back Porch," and "Be Serious"

[-] As I was watching SmackDown tonight, there was a sign that says, "SmackDown in Sac-Town!" It made me think of Sean, for obvious reasons. I also found it funny that Sacramento, CA, the CAPITAL of California, would allow itself such a double entendre of a nickname. It's odd to me.

[-] I was going to title this entry "WHO SPEAKS ILL OF LIVEJOURNAL???" But I decided to use the title above instead. For those of you who don't get the above joke, or, for that matter, my new Journal name, it's an ode to Mr. Show, a classic HBO show that is just funny beyond belief. Go get the first two Seasons on DVD, Sean and I agree, it'll be money well spent, an another note Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, the creators of Mr. Show will be on Conan O'Brien tonight, WATCH, damnit! My other possible title was "Lugga gwing gling gi gi gi goo goo gweh-ah go" but that's another story for another time.

[-] American Gladiators is just the best show on TV. THAT'S a show they need to have a remake of. Air it Monday nights at eight on TNN, that shit'll draw ratings better than that painter guy paints his "Happy Little Trees" (You know who I mean...yeah, him!). Think about it, THREE HOURS of in-your-face action every Monday night on The NEW TNN. I should work for them! I'm going to email them that right now!

Now that that's out of the way, let us continue with this entry...

[-] I am such a fan of Bowling. Candle Pin, Ten Pin, even those weird Duck Pins that I've only seen in Connecticut, it's all cool with me. Issue is this, I work on Friday nights, which sucks because that's when DJ and all the gang go to Bowl-A-Rama or Dover Bowl and do their cool cosmic bowling shindig. I used to do it, but fucking Wal-Mart now eats up all my free time. In other Wal-Mart News I got my second $400+ paycheck today, I probably wouldn't be making that at the Child Care Center. Which leads me to another topic not listed on any Post-It...

[-] People who annoy me: People who ask me what I want to do for a living, then say, "Teaching? Pshh, there's no money in that!" I used to say, "Well, I'm not in it for the money." which is true. But now I just let them be and let them go on with their arrogant, egotistical moron lives. Because I'm not in it for the money. I'm in it to change lives. I want to make kids see that Math is more than "OK, Timmy has three oranges, and Bobby has 4 Oranges, if Timmy gave Bobby 2 of his oranges, how many Oranges would Timmy and Bobby have?" The answer is Timmy has 1 and Bobby has 6, by the way. I want more than that. Ehh, enough of that, I could write three pages on that, y'all don't want to read that much, hell, most of you probably stopped once you read, "I am such a fan of Bowling". ONWARD!

[-] One WWE Rant this time: Lance Storm and Christian. The WWE has returned to an "American's are prejudiced against Canadians" angle. Which is stupid on many levels, for one thing Canadians are Americans, it's called North AMERICA! For another, there is NO way out of this angle. Once you've said, "And I hate ALL OF YOU" referring to the United States Citizens, how in the BLUE HELL can you get out of that? "Sorry, just kidding :-D" doesn't work! Bret Hart got out of the angle by leaving the WWF and going to WCW. Problem is, there ain't no more WCW for Lance and Christian to escape to! It leaves me wondering just how these two guys are gonna get out of this...

[-] Burger King's Back Porch Grillers, as Sean says, "Rock out with it's Cock out." Now, while I'm not completely sure the meaning of that phrase, I can say that they are some of the best fast food burgers I've had.

And Finally

[-] DJ and I took Matthew, the little boy she was babysitting, to Hampton Beach last night for the first of the Beach's weekly Fireworks displays. We had a great time. The best part of the evening, however, came in the perpetual traffic jam that was the ride out of the beach. When the mass exodus begins cops parole the streets picking on Jaywalkers and the like. Well, two cops walked up to my driver's side window and stopped (DJ was driving), and I start worrying that they're going to ticket me for my busted parking light, but instead the cop leans in and says, "You better get that license plate changed before you get sued by the World Wildlife Fund!" (For those of you who don't know my license plate says WWF1) DJ and I start laughing, while Matthew's in the backseat confused as hell. See Nycholle? Not ALL Cops are assholes, just the majority of them. On a side note, I had originally said that I wouldn't change my plates because in my mind they're still the WWF, however, it was pointed out to me tonight that my plates now have a second, shitty, meaning. That the WWF, the World Wildlife Fund, Won. This is NOT the message I'm going for. Therefore, when I go to the DMV on the first of July I'm going to change my plates. I'm gonna try for WHAMMY because that would be awesome.

That's all for this time, stay tuned for the future adventures of the Orange-Flavored Chicken! Same Orange-Flavored Time, Same Orange-Flavored Channel...
Comments 
21st-Jun-2002 03:32 am (UTC) - A Canadian Angle? Yah, No Doot On Dat, Eh?
On the contrary -- while I did not see Smackdown last night, I was always rather fond of the Canadian anti-American angle when the Hart Foundation did it in 1997. Bret, Owen, Davey, Neidhart, and Pillman -- what could be better?! I totally rooted for them instead of the Americans, but then again I always root for the bad guys. And in America, the Harts were truly the baddest of the bad at that time! And remember the Canadian Stampede pay-per-view in July of Nine-Seven when the event was held in Canada? The crowd was totally pro-Hart Foundation! It was an angle that, like, divided two countries! Now THAT'S pretty sweet! Of course, Lance Storm and Christian aren't exactly Bret and Owen Hart so it probably won't reach that magnitude, but I think it'll be interesting to see how far they go with it. Throw in Val Venis, Test, Edge, and Trish and ya got yourself a stable -- of course, that probably ain't happenin', but the angle could still be interesting. Now if only I ever remember to watch Smackdown, eh?
21st-Jun-2002 02:20 pm (UTC)
maybe it's a jersey cop thing??? that would make sense cuz y would someone voluntarily livin' in this state be a nice person?? good luck w/ the Whammy plate!!
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