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When Did I Become Thirty?
or "Wait, there are people who were born in 1994?!"
Not enough energy to write an intro 
1st-Oct-2002 01:14 pm
So I'm gonna steal some away messages and go from there:

Away Message Words of Advice:

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is NOT our friend

There you have it, words of wisdom from the Instant Messenger of Mike Galperin.

Let's get right into this...

[-] Something I wonder about, is there a McDonald's in China that's staffed ONLY by Americans who can barely speak chinese? I ask because the McDonald's in the Longwood Galleria does not have ONE white person on their staff. I don't find anything wrong with that, what gives me kind of a jitter is the fact that there's a sign about the record for fast service at that location and along the bottom it says, and I quote, "Thank You for Work Hard". And that's about the best English you'll get out of any of the workers. Sad...just Sad.

[-] Next up, I ordered a CD the other day, it comes out on the 22nd of October, if I remember correctly, and it's called "WWF Anthology". Apparently your friend and mind Mr. Jim Johnston is releasing a CD full of previously unreleased WWF Themes. Which ones they are and what eras they are from are still a mystery to me, but I'm hoping for the Dudley Boyz and APA along with some of the older themes like Doink and Steven Regal. (C'Mon, you know the words, sing along, "He's a MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN, Such a MAAAAAAAN, such a Man! He's a REEEAAAAAL, Real Man's Maaaaaaan" Good work.)

[-] I will not be poor for long! I have a job over at Bright Horizons in the Landmark Center, it's a short walk, I work ten hours a week, and I'm having a lot of fun. These kids are so funny, too. There's one kid, named Peter, who's almost five, and this kid knows everything about EVERYTHING, he'll explain dinosaurs, where the "humans" will go once this earth dies, how much he likes the Discovery Channel.

[-]Chick-Fil-A Rocks, gotta throw that in.

[-] I watched, unfortunately, a portion of the "Celebrity Daredevils" show that aired on Fox recently, and it was the most Pathetic deluge of garbage since I last saw Jerry Springer. Dennis Rodman jumped off a cliff in a car (that looked to be going about 2 miles per hour) and was pulled from the car by a cord attached to the harness he was wearing. In the first showing he swings back into the cliff and immediately goes unconscious. In EVERY subsequent replay he goes into the cliff but then checks the damage to his chin with his hand, and NEVER goes unconscious. How pathetic can you get.?

[-] Best commercial on TV, Bar None, and this includes Sean's Budget rollerskate ads, is the new ad for Tekken 4. The premise of the ad is that you don't just Play Tekken 4, you live it. So this kid is challenging an egg whilst making breakfast. But the payoff pitch, the Money Shot, if you will, is the end of the ad. Continuing in his ninja-like ways he makes a ninja noise while putting a bit of egg in his mouth, apparently, however, the egg is Hot, which is illustrated by the kid making another noise and waving towards his mouth while the egg falls back to the plate. It's funnier than I've described it, trust me.

[-] Last but not least, everybody, we have the Morons of the Millenium Award, and it goes to the idiot(s) who decided to try and set St. Joe's alight earlier this morning. I think Sean's away message sums it up best:

Here's the score: some asshole thought it would be funny to light some toilet paper on fire in the first floor bathroom at 5:30 in the god-damn morning. This set off the alarms and the fire trucks came, and then they made us go to the gymnasium and sit there for about an hour and a half (or maybe it was two hours, I'm too tired to count) because the fire set off the sprinkler and flooded the joint. Meanwhile, I got about an hour of sleep while all this was going on so if you think I'm gonna be waking up anytime soon, you got another thing comin'! Night-night! Oh, and whoever did that shit can KISS MY ASS!!! This concludes the longest away message in recorded history. Thank you.

We actually only sat in the Gym for an hour, but it felt like longer because there was God damn NOTHING to do. And to clear up any confusion, this was not a "Let's light some toilet paper as a prank to set off the sprinklers" fires, this was a "Let's do our best to burn St. Joseph to the ground" fire. From what I've heard there is extensive smoke damage to the bathroom and adjacent rooms on the first floor.

Some people are stupid, and then there's these morons. Takes the Fractaling cake.

It also explains why there was no intro to the beginning of this entry, because I fell asleep at 5:00 AM (Don't ask me to explain why), and the alarm went off at 5:30. That's HALF AN HOUR! I'm dead, folks.

That's all she wrote this time, so, until next time, keep it real, homez.
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