Note: I make no guarantee to the comedic output of this post, this is merely my selection of quotes and doo-dads that I've posted over the past twelve months that I feel reflect the year of 2002. With that said, Enjoy!
1/2/02 - That means that from Midnight to Noon channel 68 is stoopid-assed infomercials, and from noon to midnight it's those wonderful game shows. God how I need digital cable.I now have digital cable, and it's no better! GWAH!
1/3/02 - Emmanuel has an Education degree, and they're right next door, I could go there. I don't know
All I know is that I want to get out of Wheelock, and I want to do it quick...
1/7/02 - Welcome Back Triple H!What was I THINKING?!?
1/11/02 - Sean got in to Emmanuel! YES!!!Set the wheels in motion
1/24/02 - But in the events that have transpired, I am siding with Sean.THAT was a fun night!
1/25/02 - I look in there and say, "Wait! Pants don't go in the trash!!"
1/27/02 - [Perfect Justice i]s the person who turned in your tape and got you in trouble having her car stolen...
2/2/02 - 65th Entry...go me!Just thought I'd add this in since this is entry number 200 (Well that worked out nicely, didn't it?)
2/3/02 - PATRIOTS WIN!!! PATRIOTS WIN!!! PATRIOTS WIN!!!
2/17/02 - GO WATCH SUPER TROOPERS, hilarious fuckin movie, I shit you not...The words still ring true today
2/17/02 - A Number One on the list is this: This is my last year at Wheelock, and I am not kidding.
2/17/02 - nWo: What do I think of the nWo poison? I think it could be good, if done correctly, but then I remember back to the Invasion, T.L. Hopper and the GobbledyGooker, somehow I feel this will get fucked up real bad, real quick...How did I know?
2/19/02 - He also said to tell Adam "don't let me down". The teaching profession needs gifted people who believe they can make a difference.
2/22/02 - Ed doesn't like Mike any more, so it appears to be all Brendan's faultFuckin' Brendan
2/24/02 - And don't even get me started on that night vision nonsense...Jeezus...GOD, Rollerball sucked!
3/8/02 - "Has your phone been cut off? CALL US!!!"
3/8/02 - I caught up with Joel today on IMs, good to know that he's still like he was in high school, funny as ever.
3/11/02 - TheLegendarySTM (11:20:33 PM): Alright then, thank you for coming, your next session is Tuesday at four o'clock, there's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out, and I expect payment by Thursday, ta-ta
3/14/02 - Ten minutes until my last two classes before Spring Break begin, and they both have midterms! Where's the fair in that?!?
3/18/02 - Bill Gates can kiss my fat white Ass, Windows XP totally fuggled up my computer!!!!Wow, that was a fun week!
3/19/02 - PLUS my parents got Digital Cable today, Game Show Network 24/7 Baby!!!Pshh, we see how well THAT panned out!
3/21/02 - In order to get XP off my computer the Microsoft guy told me to format my hard drive, so I lost EVERYTHING!!!
3/25/02 - I figure that if I want to preserve my sanity while I'm home I'll stay at Wheelock, grin and bear it, and just get it over with...What was that I said about a fun week?
3/27/02 - As of approximately 8:48 this evening, I applied to Emmanuel College, requested transcripts and letters of recommendation, and called Emmanuel to ask for a Financial Aid Application and Interview.
3/27/02 - 1. Is this the best decision?Some of my best work, I feel
3/28/02 - Heh, think of it, the one person you hate most, the one person who supposedly shared the pain of being kicked out of Wheelock, getting kicked out AGAIN!
4/16/02 - JOHNNY GOD DAMNED MOTHER FUCKING CASH!!So much ANGER!
4/19/02 - SOMEONE CONVINCE MY PARENTS THAT I NEED A NEW COMPUTER!!!!
4/26/02 - EIGHTEEN THOUSAND, TWO HUNDRED EIGHTY-FIVE!!!!Of course, since I downloaded and registered Diamond Mine/Bejeweled, my high score's now above 74K...
4/27/02 - "You're a cookie! You can't talk!" Stupid cookie...I guess it was a retarded day
4/29/02 - I Shook Mr. Rogers' hand...I feel so privileged...
5/1/02 - And do you know who I saw while I was there...do you know who I stood next to while I was there? The One The Only Red Sox Shortstop NOMAR GARCIAPARRA.
5/1/02 - And there was a rousing rendition of Double Team, by the D, during the seventh inning stretch. Led by Sean and myself we had the entire area of Section 29, Row 15, Seats 7 & 8 singing along.
5/3/02 - I finally did it, my 10-page (25+ including Appendices) Tome on my interview with my grandpa is finally done.
5/6/02 - I hate that book
I hate that psychic midget
I hate that paper
I hate History!
5/6/02 - OK, what the hell! It's now World Wrestling Entertainment because Vince gave in to a bunch of Panda Pussies!
5/9/02 - I'm a fucking moron who cares too much sometimes...god ::smacks self repeatedly for my stupidity::I never mentioned in my journal WHAT it was that I did, but I'm over my ashamedness now, so I think I'll tell you. Basically, I got conned out of 40 dollars by some guy who claimed that his son was in Beth Israel...Hey...we all have lapses once in a while
5/9/02 - Made work that much more enjoyable, unscrewing the legs off the platforms and singing along with "Tribute" and "Wonderboy" and the ever-popular "Kielbasa" and "Fuck Her Gently". ::Puts in the D CD:: Ahh, the joys of music.
5/9/02 - Mistr Sac: if you get in
TheLegendarySTM: I have a good feeling
Mistr Sac: that's called an erection
5/10/02 - I became, "A dirty old man who should be home with his wife but is instead hanging out at this seedy strip club" I got shimmied at by a really tall guy playing a female stripper.ImprovAsylum, I swear!
5/13/02 - Wal-Mart looks like my best option because I have an in because DJ's mom works there and put in a good word for me.Stupid Stupid STUPID!
5/26/02 - OK, so I'm working at Wal-Mart...KILL ME!
5/29/02 - On behalf of the Admissions Committee, I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Emmanuel College with the class entering September 2002.Of course, now I'm on academic probation, but...
5/29/02 - On a side note, that's my word, I coined it: Wheelocracy - (n) Any group who is run by complete and utter morons.
6/1/02 - I miss Teddy Ruxpin
6/1/02 - it's that I miss the innocence of my childhood...I'm deep
6/3/02 - Tom is a Journal WhoreAgain, the words still ring true
6/5/02 - Whoo hoo, new computer coming!!!
6/14/02 - He's posted 100 times, ONE HUNDRED TIMES, in 48 days, FORTY-EIGHT DAYS. His 400th post was April 27th, and today he made post 500.
Since April 27th I have posted, including this post, 48 times. That averages to once a day. Tom's average is over 2 times a day, CONTINUOUSLY, for the past 48 days.On the third I said Tom was a Journal Whore, on the fourteenth...I PROVED it! On another note, he told me that he's currently at post 697...and this is 200 for me!
6/17/02 - I passed the Writing subtest of the Literacy & Communications subtest with an 83!
6/21/02 - Because I'm not in it for the money. I'm in it to change lives. I want to make kids see that Math is more than "OK, Timmy has three oranges, and Bobby has 4 Oranges, if Timmy gave Bobby 2 of his oranges, how many Oranges would Timmy and Bobby have?"
6/21/02 - hell, most of you probably stopped once you read, "I am such a fan of Bowling"
6/21/02 - Well, two cops walked up to my driver's side window and stopped (DJ was driving), and I start worrying that they're going to ticket me for my busted parking light, but instead the cop leans in and says, "You better get that license plate changed before you get sued by the World Wildlife Fund!"
6/21/02 - That's all for this time, stay tuned for the future adventures of the Orange-Flavored Chicken! Same Orange-Flavored Time, Same Orange-Flavored Channel...
6/24/02 - Hulk Hogan's only 48 or close to it. He's younger than BOTH my parents. Yet he looks older than my grandpa...there's something wrong with that.
6/24/02 - Hogan has an epileptic siezure mid-match! Oh, no, wait, he's "Hulking Up", yeah, that was cool, when I was nine.
6/26/02 - A Jackass Movie, much like Sean's and Mine, except with the actual Jackass people from MTV, is nearing completion. Rest assured, Sean and I will be at the Fenway 13 on opening night, tickets in hand. Followed by the day after, the next day, and possibly the day following that.I went three times on opening day, and three times after that...and I bought the soundtrack after the first viewing...good movie? Definitely
6/26/02 - Hey, remember the XFL? No? Not surprising...
7/3/02 - It annoys me...that little bastard is LYING to us!
7/3/02 - However, while he was talking, and while I was enjoying the fireworks, some thoughts came to mind:
1. Don't touch me.
2. It's a free show.
3. There are no tickets.
4. There are no assigned seats.
5. Don't TOUCH me.
6. Go fuck yourself.
7/7/02 - Jeez, I have a savings account, a credit card, now I have a checking account, and I'm twenty. It's like I'm an adult or something!
7/15/02 - If I were her parents I would have locked her in the shed for being such a whiny little bitch.
7/15/02 - And finally, from the "As suddenly as they appeared they were gone" Department, the nWo.I told you, didn't I?
7/16/02 - Turns out that that armful of merchandise was found outside the fence and was in the process of being stolen, by the lady I was talking to!
7/20/02 - 19. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE: Owen Hart, bar none.
7/22/02 - We get a promo detailing the history between RVD and Lesnar, since we've forgotten everything that happened in the past month.
7/22/02 - RVD regains control...fack and borth, fack and borth.Maybe I had too many Pizza Rolls, I don't know...
7/22/02 - Booker's Pyro lights the HUGE V on fire and burns down the Joe Louis Arena...no? Well, a boy can dream, can't he?
7/22/02 - They ask Rikishi about Hunter's decision, because he has nothing else to do tonight.
7/22/02 - If he wants to be such a big fuckin movie star, go to Hollywood and Stay There!!! When your movies stop grossing millions merely because of your WWE Status, and you start producing tank after tank, remember who made your ass famous, Dwayne, and beg for your job back.
7/26/02 - he said, "I think you'd be a good gameshow host, you have that sarcastic wit and you're mean." Well, I thought it was a nice compliment...
7/26/02 - "Hmm, let's see, which is better, dry hair, or a nice-smelling bathroom. Oh christ, the decision's so tough!" Sheesh...
8/4/02 - ASalzer105: Why thank you, PiMP, you don't know how many times I've asked myself, "Where, Oh WHERE, can I find hot, gay, celebrity porn?!?"
8/8/02 - I used to say that I loved Huey Lewis and The News, now I can say that I LOVE Huey Lewis and The News.
8/16/02 - OK, Lifetime has gone over the top with the naming of their made-for-TV movies. There was one on the other week about a child molestor at a day care center and they called it, I kid you not, "Do You Know the Muffin Man?"
8/16/02 - Word's going round that the 2003 Royal Rumble will be held at the Fleet Center. Dag nab I hope this one's true, cause that will be awesome.19 days...19 days...
9/15/02 - 1. There are no subliminal messages, all messages from the devil will be presented in plain, straightforward English.
9/15/02 - So, for that reason, this Journal entry is sponsored by Marijuana! Get high and read, kids!
9/22/02 - Yes, DEF LEPPARD
10/5/02 - SkankingByNumber: meow
10/6/02 - StolenPopemobileOne Legend dies, and another is born
10/15/02 - this is a guy who knows a lot about being on his knees! He also knows a lot about pointless sermons!
10/25/02 - Have you seen "jackass: the movie" yet???
Go, go now! Go!
10/29/02 - You can take your Casablancas, you can have your Gladiators, your Saving Private Ryans, and even your Ben Hurs, and you can throw them all away, because NOTHING, that's right, nothing, can overtake the absolute genius that is the 97-minute jackass: the movie.
10/30/02 - People are harassing me about having seen jackass 4 times, including one girl in my education class who saw Titanic ten times and Lord of the Rings 12...Pot? I have Kettle on Line One.
10/30/02 - Note for the future, expect me to be depressed from the time that jackass gets pulled from the Fenway 13 until it comes out on DVD...
11/25/02 - That was last April, eight months ago. None of our circle of friends has heard from him since.
11/26/02 - I have weird psychic powers...
12/9/02 - CKY4, here I come!
12/9/02 - * Ever thought an animated character was hot?: Mmmm, Pikachu...I mean, No! Never!
12/9/02 - * Lace or satin: well satin is less binding in the...I mean, What the hell do I know?!?
12/9/02 - * What is the best feeling in the world: Sitting down with people you care about and realizing just how much you have
12/11/02 - That averages out to less than four bucks a book! Man oh man, if I'd wanted to get screwed up the ass I would have gone to Lexington!
12/11/02 - I love those kids, and not in the way Mike did, if ya catch my drift.I'm so mean to him...what did he ever do to me? Oh yeeaaahhhhh!!!
12/11/02 - You know what else is good about home? Game Show Network...
12/11/02 - What if saliva caused some incurable disease?
12/19/02 - 6 days till Christmas, folks, make sure you get that shopping and wrapping done! Unless you're Jewish, or somethin'
12/19/02 - I WAS the person, after all, who was SURE that two summers ago my dad actually BOUGHT me a PT Cruiser and that the whole "rental" thing was all a scam...
12/19/02 - I know, it sounds boring, hell, it probably will be, but give it a read anyway...like you have anything better to do if you're reading this in the first place.Hell, if you've gotten this far, you know that's true...
12/23/02 - Sub Total*: $25,931.00But it's so damn gorgeous!
12/25/02 - I am so nervous because if I don't get a degree what am I going to do? Work at a child care center for nine bucks an hour? Definitely can't even eke out a living that way...
Well...that's all of it!
Happy New Years, everybody, here's to a great 2003!