Dear DJ, Thank you...Thank you for the past three years, thank you for all the things you gave to me, thank you for the unlimited access to your vagina...thank you mostly, however, for not coming into the store the other night, because it allowed me two entertaining moments:
1. The ability to see you throw a fit on the sidewalk and 2. The ability to see your best bitch of a friend Julie Hammer stomp around like a three year old whose mother won't buy her candy.
Give her a big fuck you from me.
Finally, thank you for breaking up with me, and allowing me to focus on myself and not me along with all your female bullshit. It's so peaceful not to have to worry about where you're drunk at tonight, or who you're out clubbing with. Thanks a bunch...
Sincerely you're not-so-secret non-admirer, Adam C. Salzer