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When Did I Become Thirty?
or "Wait, there are people who were born in 1994?!"
And the 2003 Ultra Douchebag of the Year Award goes to... 
1st-Dec-2003 04:14 pm

Officer Timothy J. Cashman of the Portsmouth PD!

So I got into a car accident today, driving out of PHS I rear-ended this woman who was stopped in traffic cause I wasn't paying full attention to the road. Not the bad part, we get out, start exchanging information, and she says she should go get the cop down the road. I agree, though now I see I shouldn't have. So she gets him, and comes back, she starts writing down her stuff, he writes down my stuff, and our boy cashman walks up.

I'm not going to detail everything that happened, but merely make a note that says that this guy spent the entire time acting as though WE were interrupting something important in HIS day. Because apparently sitting on your ass in the Mormon Church parking lot is SUCH a HUUUUGE responsibility, that WE were the assholes for giving him something to do!

I'm also going to get ticketed for having two underage passengers without seatbelts. No, they weren't wearing them while we were moving, but by the time the cop got there, we'd been sitting, car in park, for a good ten minutes. Apparently, though, the law is as long as the key is in the ignition...and that's retarded.

So, Timothy J. Cashman of the Portsmouth, NH Police Department, YOU are our 2003 douchebag of the year for acting as though doing YOUR JOB was a gigantic pain in the ass.
1st-Dec-2003 01:19 pm (UTC)
Maybe he missed his donut break.
1st-Dec-2003 01:24 pm (UTC)
somethin! he's no bauer, I know that much.

Ah! Something I wanted to tell you, earlier I was reading the CD booklet for the soundtrack of the new Man of La Mancha, and it mentioned something about there being an "Almeida Theatre" in London, and I was like, "Gee...I wonder if Helen knows that!"
1st-Dec-2003 01:26 pm (UTC)
LOL I'm not that much of an obsessive, don't worry. :)
2nd-Dec-2003 08:15 pm (UTC)
1st-Dec-2003 01:41 pm (UTC)
Timothy Cashman, eh? He's probably somehow related to Brian Cashman, the general manager of the Yankees! For that alone he should have to serve time in his own jail. And by the way, I too was at a Mormon Church last weekend. Don't ask.
2nd-Dec-2003 08:18 pm (UTC)

Cashman, not you...here's a haiku:

Timothy Cashman
You are a gigantic douche
Time to change your pad
2nd-Dec-2003 06:29 am (UTC) - im runners up
do i get an award for being a douche bag? cakes and pies! cakes and pies!
2nd-Dec-2003 08:19 pm (UTC) - Re: im runners up
You were first runner up in the coolest douchebag on the east coast award
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