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When Did I Become Thirty?
or "Wait, there are people who were born in 1994?!"
Two updates: 
3rd-Jan-2004 10:41 pm
1. I have the flu...

2. New Year's Day must have been freak day...I swear, we had three instances at work:

a) Born-Again Sheila: Sheila is a born-again christian who insists on telling people her ENTIRE life story. She told Vicki on the phone when she called to ask us to hold a CD, and when she came into the store I asked her, "Hey, how ya doin'?" like I'm supposed to and she says, "Oh, you don't even WANNA know!" So I said, "OK!" and she replies, "It's not you, it's just I've had the worst holiday!" To which I responded, "You must be Sheila!" and handed her the CD.

b) The older lady I've lovingly named "Sandy Vagina". She came into the store saying that she's only here for the sale and that it's a good thing we're closing because of all the pornography in the records. I rolled my eyes and let her do her business. She browsed for a while, asked a couple questions, and brought her purchases to the counter, including a Christina Aguilera "Stripped" cassette, used to illustrate her point about the pornography. I said, "Well, we don't have any control over what they put on the albums." to which she responded, "Yes you do! You know 75% of people go to hell for sins of the flesh?" She then paid with a check and refused to give her phone number, because it could get out to everybody that way, and she said something about her daughter being a social worker...I tuned her out at this point.

3) (I was never very good at categorizing) The guy I nicknamed "Mormon Pete". He first came into the store while I was crouching down changing the CDs, and I asked if I could help him, he said he was all set and then asked me if the store was closing. I said yes, and he asked me what I thought I'd be doing in five years. I thought this was odd, but then customers came to the counter so he went away...to talk to other customers in the store, well, one other guy, who he chatted with for a good fifteen minutes. He then came back to me and asked what I had gone to college for. (I mentioned that I had failed out) I said Elementary Education and he said that what he was doing was like that. I said OK and he gave me his spiel, something about convincing consumers to buy more things over the internet because the profits will be higher because you cut out the middle man. I'm standing there thinking two things, one, "What the fuck does this have to do with Elementary Education?" and secondly, "You fucking moron, you're standing in a STORE...I AM the Middle Man!" I told him I wasn't interested in what he had to say and he shook my hand and left.

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